Sunday 13 June 2010

Dear America (and the World, by Extension),

Now, I don't follow football. Especially where the World Cup is concerned, I think it is a blight, especially for the English, who seem to like to take it as an opportunity to show the hosting nation just how full of pathetic hooligans England is.

However, it is in my best interests that England stay in for as long as possible, since it means that, whenever England are playing a match, I get to socialise with certain people and do certain things with an increased frequency -- plus, everywhere in town is nice and quiet because everyone is in pubs or at home watching the matches.

So if you guys could let us get to the semi-finals, at least, that would be nice. Go on. Do it for your old pal Sinespe. He likes getting tail.

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